Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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