My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
