is wine microwaveable?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
