Umm I'm too high to move.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
