Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
