You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
