Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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