Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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