Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize