P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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