Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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