He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
