you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
