She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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