it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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