maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
