oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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