I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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