I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
