i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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