6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
