Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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