I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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