That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
