why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
