I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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