the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
this will be a night to untag.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
