If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
