i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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