no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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