WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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