how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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