if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
