Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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