My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
