ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I am naked and annoyed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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