Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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