i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
