i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
