Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
