I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize