so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
