so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
