It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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