if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
