we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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