You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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