; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
