Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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