is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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