The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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