He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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