The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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