I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
