And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
