i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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