I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
