I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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